Health

When To Walk Away From An Offer To Help

 

When and where the decision has been made to speak to a counsellor, the very last thing anyone would like to face is the prospect of having to walk away and find another. Nevertheless, this is an unfortunate reality faced by so many having in most instances failed to carry out the necessary checks and verifications prior to going ahead.

The thing is, just because the professional counselling offers a confidential process it does not mean that it isn’t similar to other industries when it comes to provider quality differences. Or to put it another way, to assume that every counsellor currently working in the United Kingdom is of the same calibre is to roll the dice in a way that doesn’t stack the odds in your favour.

The belief of the professional counsellors is that to approach the industry with a sense of apprehension or cynicism really isn’t necessary. In truth, there are many working as counsellors today are extensively experienced, educated and qualified – thus they should be able to offer safe services to their clients. Nevertheless, there will always be the odd proverbial ‘bad apple’ in the bunch which leads to aspersions being cast on everyone else.

Still, the good news is that those on the rather unfortunate side of the spectrum are at least extremely easy to avoid – just be sure to walk away if you encounter any of the following warning signs:

1 – Poor Reliability

First of all, it is impossible to put your complete faith, trust and respect in a counsellor that does not seem to pay you the same kind of courtesy. As such, if at any point during an agreed course you get the impression that your counsellor is in any way unreliable – turning up late, leaving early, missing appointments, frequent cancellations – it’s perhaps fair to say that it’s a course you won’t get a great deal out of. Absolute reliability is a fundamental prerequisite for anybody who wishes to call themselves a counsellor – accept nothing less.

2 – Clear Distraction

In a similar vein, it isn’t just enough for your counsellor to turn up and be physically present throughout each session – they should be giving you their complete, total and undivided attention from start to finish. As such, should you begin to get the impression either that the counsellor is easily distracted or that you are clearly not their number one priority, chances are this is indeed the case.  You are paying for their time and their full attention, therefore if you are not getting both, you’d be better off spending your money elsewhere.

3 – You Just Don’t Quite ‘Click’

One of the most crucially important things to remember when beginning a course of counselling is the way in which all the qualifications, experience and indeed recommendations in the world only count for so much. The simple fact of the matter is that if you and the counsellor simply do not ‘click’ with each other, you will find it very difficult to get anything beneficial out of the agreement. It of course isn’t as if you are looking for a new best friend, but if you don’t feel that kind of genuine respect, trust and comfortableness required to fully discuss what it is you need to discuss, you are in essence wasting your time.

4 – You Feel Intimidated

It’s exactly the same case when it comes to intimidation as well as while it is natural to feel at least a little uncomfortable and daunted during the initial consultation and perhaps the first encounter, it is the hallmark of a reputable and capable counsellor to be able to put clients at ease and remove all unnecessary fear and intimidation from the equation.

5 – You’re Rushed into Making a Decision

Perhaps the single most irresponsible thing any professional counsellor can do is to attempt to rush any given client into making a decision without giving it proper thought. The very nature of counselling is such that those seeking such services need to do so under their own steam and be 100% confident that the decision they’ve made is both correct and their own. To attempt to rush clients into making decisions is nothing less than a clear sign of whose interests matter more to the counsellor…suffice to say, not the interests of the client.

6 – Conflicting Specialism

Last but not least, be sure to pay attention to the specialism and specialist focus areas of any given counsellor before agreeing to sign up to. The reason being that while the counsellor you are considering may be one of the most experienced professionals in the field of sex addiction and its causes, they may not be the best individual to help you.

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